What happens when something goes wrong?

The Past:

So, on we go to second quarter as I slowly work my way through compiling my thoughts about PA school til the present. Second quarter will feel better - I promise. Anatomy is done and you feel like you can do anything. Dont forget you are just getting started. Physical Exam skills are coming and they are coming quick. This is the point where you begin to build your clinical skills and the knowledge base to actually figure out what is going on. Take advantage of the time off (relatively speaking). The best thing I can say is to get the basics and start practicing. I would suggest spending a day or two with a practicioner to help you hone your skills. Make a connection with a second year to help you. A second year student is your best resource.

On physical exam: Practice, pay attention to detail and time yourself. I always went over time in test so time yourself doing a full wellness exam. Practice in your kitchen with your friends or on your family over break. The most comfortable you get the better.

On clinical medicine: they are going to want you to remember all kinds of details. But try and widdle it down to essentials first. Flash cards will help.

On the other classes: Be a sponge.

On life: Things will get better - Breathe and realize this will seem easier every day.

Take home points:

1 - Practice your physical exam --> consider it your weapons arsenal

2 - Connect with a second year

3 - Volunteer - it will energize you and get you the perspective and practice you need.

Reality: The past 48 hours

I did a paracentesis (the insertion of a needle/ catheter into the abdomen to drain off fluid) yesterday. I was scared shitless and really confident at the same time. I knew I could do it but was super freaked out by the details. Everything went fine and the patient and doctor were super cooperative. The worst part was after... did I puncture something? What if the patient has internal bleeding later tonight or tomorrow? What if I did something wrong and ruin not only my career but my supervising doctors career?

I guess I'm faced with these questions everyday but it was slightly more tangible after a more complex procedure rather than a routine check... I guess I can never forget about how crucial every move I make is. 

Here comes the vent -->The ironic part is the patients - they expect everything to be flawless, fast and easy. What a joke right? Only God or Ghandi could pull off something like that. The sad thing is that everyone is under the illusion that its possible at every given moment. On top of that, they expect it to be done immediately. Tons of patients complain about waiting at an urgent care... I'm sorry, its not my fault nor my problem because I'm trying to take care of really sick people. On top of that, I can't do a flawless job if you (the patient) keep complaining about the wait.  It actually might occur in a timely fashion if I wasn't so concerned about getting sued or missing the most minute detail which might actually lead to some other patients demise or if I didn't have to do pages and pages of paper work to actually get a dime out of the insurance companies. But go ahead patients, complain to me because apparently it doesn't mean anything to anyone that some of us have invested over 100k in what we are doing... Sheesh.