I think that I blocked out most of the winter quarter so I used my report card to remind me of how it went (not that grades ever mattered much or reflected what I really learned but it refreshed my memory nonetheless). This quarter was hard. Christmas vacation just throws everything off - you feel like you can slack before and then it hits you when you get back that you have so much crap to learn and study and then its a beautiful chaotic thing by the end of the onslaught. Pharmacology will take over most your time - similar to anatomy. Memorization is the key - but this time its a little bit more applicable to clinical practice. You need to know this stuff and know it well. Most of everything else is pretty much same old same old. You will probably start learning skills - suturing, foreign body removal from the eye, IVs etc. This was a fun break for all of us. Take advantage of the time and practice your suturing. Otherwise you will have a mini-panic attack like me when you have to do it on a real person. My first patient was on an elderly woman's face. I was totally freaked out. So yeah, do yourself a favor and get your skills solid. The bane of my existence and the source of my stress was EKG. Nothing in medicine (unless you love cardiology) will be as frustrating as the elusive EKG. Its frustrating because you simple cant get away from it. You have to know it, whether you like it or not. Dont try and cram for this class. It wont end well. Try your best and learn to love those little 12 leads.
This quarter you might lose and find yourself. Its full of medicine which tends to suck you in. It was hard for me to find my way during this quarter. The halfway mark is hard and with clinicals around the corner, its hard to focus but if you do, itll pay off.
Remember that bond I told you to form with a second year - it should come in handy now. They hold the key to getting good preceptors and rotation sites. Talk to them and get the scoop.
Reality:
As I mentioned, I'm working in a pseudo- ER/ urgent care and its quite a rollercoaster. I have learned quickly that no matter what I do, what I think or what tests I order, I can never get it exactly right because each doctor I have worked with does it differently. Some order 50 tests and some dont order any. Its quite irritating because I feel like an idiot most of the time. Its like you have to customize your presentation of a case depending on the doctor. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills sometimes.
I genuinely like working urgent care though. Its faster than a normal office, diverse enough where you dont get bored and there is plenty to do. PA's have it great when it comes to urgent care work. They don't have to deal with any of the complex patients and we get to punt the really sever cases to another ER - all the while making 6 figures. I like it.
In regards to the real world, old haunts have re-surfaced and the complexities of certain relationships are getting confusing. It seems to me that old friends have a way of kicking you in the balls even when they are out of your life. Its frustrating to say the least. I reflect on how happy I am now but it seems like someone is trying to steal my joy even when they don't have anything to do with my life now. Its strange and interesting. Its like I have a pain somewhere inside but the source is buried so deep because its in the past. I would compare it to an internal scar getting stretched a little too much. Its just uncomfortable.
Its nice to be a vagrant of sorts - moving every six weeks. How unusual to be a PA student?! I forget that we a very special niche - nomads of medicine if you will. Every six weeks a group of people that we have to schmooze and charm and get to know. Its so strange - and slightly fascinating. I definitely doesn't help with commitment issues though. I feel like I don't have to get to involved anywhere because I'll be gone soon enough. Its unhealthy if you really think about it.
I have a hard time thinking about settling down. Anything more than a year sounds sooooo long. I can't imagine living anywhere for more than that. I guess its irrational to think I can just move every year to a new location and start over. Who knows, maybe I could.
So, I say to you - all of you who I have forgotten - please cease the attempts to hurt me in places that have healed and scarred from years in the past.
PS> I have officially finished the Twilight series. I not ashamed that I read a book for girls with a weird vampire fetish - Harry Potter will always be the best though, even if he doesn't have fangs.
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