Thoughts from jail.

ok, so the heading says thoughts from jail, which is true. I am in jail, but not as a prisoner. I am doing part of my rotation in family practice at the Gila County jail. The irony of it all is that there is nothing "family" about jail but, nonetheless, I write from jail. Lots has happened since the last blog. I moved from California to Arizona, which was sad but a needed change. LA has a strange effect on my spending habits and I tend to blow money like water so I was glad to leave southern california. It really hit me as I left my rotation - what a strange life. Not many people know this, but PA students have to change there lives every 6 weeks. I have moved every 6 weeks to a new place with a new practice and a new doctor since May of 08. Its really sad if you think about it. I build relationships just to end them again in 6 weeks. It really is emotionally draining. In addition to moving back to Arizona, I moved to a little boony town of Globe. It is 60 miles from the nearest Target - which I'm using to quantify distance because I go to Target every tuesday and I have been slightly sad about not being able to go. Its been quite the tradition. Brittany (my roomate) and I would look forward to our "Target Tuesdays" during really hard weeks. The escape to target was much needed to survive the hellish weeks of anatomy, clinical medicine and physiology.
There is something comforting about being in a small town but also very un-nerving (sp?). The community is tight knit but tends to devour it own when things go wrong. I assume this is like most small towns, with the illusion of hierarchy and power. When that is disrupted, somebody gets eaten or torn to pieces.
I'm reading the book called The Shack and its really changing my view of community and relationships - natural and supernatural alike. I'm trying to teach myself a little submission when I enter into a community. Instead of exerting myself to be an individual, I'm practicing submission out of love. Its hard and there is no way around it. I'm beginning to see why community is hard, its more sacrifice than we would expect.
Which could possibly explain why marriages fail so easy - no one thinks about how much they must sacrifice, they just think about the gain. Its not that simple but most of us are just not ready to submit fully to each other.

Spring quarter:
Once you have walked through the fires of winter quarter of PA school - you can do anything. This is pretty much the collective attitude of classes as they pass into their last quarter. I remember my mind wandering into the future far too much when I was in my last quarter. It seems like old hat - new information, but with a sense of deja vu. Senioritis is a good word for it. Most of us were over the quarter before it started and ready for vacation. I don't have much advice for the quarter - its the last little push out into rotations. Dont loose sight of the grand scheme of things. There is a development going on and everything starts to build up to the culmination of a career.
Food for thought - We always joked about a quote from Grey's Anatomy - "We study science and time stops - we're socially retarded". It starts to become true more and more as you get obsessed with medicine. I say obsessed because you almost have to be obsessed with medicine to do it. Make a goal for yourself - spend time with people who have nothing to do with what you are doing. Old friends or people who dont have a medical back ground. Learn how to relate again. Learn to socialize without talking about what you are doing and dont use medical terms. You'll benefit from it in the long run...