Thoughts from jail.

ok, so the heading says thoughts from jail, which is true. I am in jail, but not as a prisoner. I am doing part of my rotation in family practice at the Gila County jail. The irony of it all is that there is nothing "family" about jail but, nonetheless, I write from jail. Lots has happened since the last blog. I moved from California to Arizona, which was sad but a needed change. LA has a strange effect on my spending habits and I tend to blow money like water so I was glad to leave southern california. It really hit me as I left my rotation - what a strange life. Not many people know this, but PA students have to change there lives every 6 weeks. I have moved every 6 weeks to a new place with a new practice and a new doctor since May of 08. Its really sad if you think about it. I build relationships just to end them again in 6 weeks. It really is emotionally draining. In addition to moving back to Arizona, I moved to a little boony town of Globe. It is 60 miles from the nearest Target - which I'm using to quantify distance because I go to Target every tuesday and I have been slightly sad about not being able to go. Its been quite the tradition. Brittany (my roomate) and I would look forward to our "Target Tuesdays" during really hard weeks. The escape to target was much needed to survive the hellish weeks of anatomy, clinical medicine and physiology.
There is something comforting about being in a small town but also very un-nerving (sp?). The community is tight knit but tends to devour it own when things go wrong. I assume this is like most small towns, with the illusion of hierarchy and power. When that is disrupted, somebody gets eaten or torn to pieces.
I'm reading the book called The Shack and its really changing my view of community and relationships - natural and supernatural alike. I'm trying to teach myself a little submission when I enter into a community. Instead of exerting myself to be an individual, I'm practicing submission out of love. Its hard and there is no way around it. I'm beginning to see why community is hard, its more sacrifice than we would expect.
Which could possibly explain why marriages fail so easy - no one thinks about how much they must sacrifice, they just think about the gain. Its not that simple but most of us are just not ready to submit fully to each other.

Spring quarter:
Once you have walked through the fires of winter quarter of PA school - you can do anything. This is pretty much the collective attitude of classes as they pass into their last quarter. I remember my mind wandering into the future far too much when I was in my last quarter. It seems like old hat - new information, but with a sense of deja vu. Senioritis is a good word for it. Most of us were over the quarter before it started and ready for vacation. I don't have much advice for the quarter - its the last little push out into rotations. Dont loose sight of the grand scheme of things. There is a development going on and everything starts to build up to the culmination of a career.
Food for thought - We always joked about a quote from Grey's Anatomy - "We study science and time stops - we're socially retarded". It starts to become true more and more as you get obsessed with medicine. I say obsessed because you almost have to be obsessed with medicine to do it. Make a goal for yourself - spend time with people who have nothing to do with what you are doing. Old friends or people who dont have a medical back ground. Learn how to relate again. Learn to socialize without talking about what you are doing and dont use medical terms. You'll benefit from it in the long run...

Adventures in LA - no medicine needed.

Back to the Future: Today was so great. I felt like I was living - really living and it felt good. Friends, good food, good chai, biking on the beach, driving to pick up a towed car. It was just too good to be true really. Venice Beach and Santa Monica are two places that everyone needs to explore. So many characters to see, so many little places to explore. There is a little coffee shop called Novel Cafe that we grabbed chai at in Venice and its just too great. Its connected to a used book store and its just perfect. We explored Venice and the canals with bikes (which weren't allowed by the way) and I've decided if I ever have enough money I need a vacation house there - which would be more like a vacation room because it would be so outrageous to buy anything of decent size. Anywho, its too bad we didn't do this more often when we were in undergrad. LA has a lot to offer and I think we take it for granted when we are so caught up in our little bubbles of school. I have lived in LA for 4 years and moved away and I'm just finally getting to know my surroundings here. The Griffith Observatory, the Hollywood Sign, Melrose Ave, Santa Monica, Venice Beach, the Block, the Irvine Spectrum. We really are missing out. If you ever make it to LA - dont act too cool to be a tourist. We are all tourists.

Past - I have only a couple of minutes to talk about PA school. I'm on vacation and avoiding thinking about it. Make sure you go on rotations in places you might live and diversify your demographics. Work at places with wealth and poverty and a mix of the two. Go to a different state if you can... Go anywhere and dont settle for what you have been handed to you on a silver platter. There is always something better out there to explore than what you have done today.